WELCOME TO MY BLOG

The bitch!

WELCOME TO MY BLOG!!!!!

As the more observant of you may have already guessed, I am taking a page directly form the marketing genius who started the AWESOME trend of having their employees holler a heartfelt greeting at customers as they walk in the door! What the Fuck!!!!!

WELCOME TO THE SECOND PARAGRAPH!!!!!!!

I guess there isn't enough to hate about corporate-run shitty pizza chains and discount supermarkets, so why not have a group of underpaid, under-appreciated clock watchers yell at customers to really drive home the distain! I'm trying to imagine the interview process @ Food Lion:

Desperately underpaid, overworked manager: "Let's see, you have all the qualities we look for in an employee.....acne, a piss poor attitude and questionable hygiene. Everything looks good!"

Horribly under-excited future employee: "Could you keep it down, I'm texting."

Manager: "I guess I just need to know, can you holler an unemotional, fake greeting to every single person who enters the store for 8 hours at a run?"

Future Employee: "Huh?!"

Manager: "You're hired!"

WELCOME TO MY NEXT THOUGHT!!!!!!!

It's not that I don't enjoy being recognized when I walk into my neighborhood supermarket. I do. Especially when the person recognizing me is sincere and actually recognizes me! Corporations seem to have a team of folks who make obscene amounts of money to come up with idea's to annoy their employee's as well as customers in the name of courtesy. At Sam's Club for a while the desk people were required to answer every phone call in the following manner (paraphrased but close!) "Thanks you for calling Sam's at the University, Vicky speaking, how may provide you with excellent service today?" TOO LONG!!!!!! I just want to know if you are open, or carry tampons, or I called the wrong number and now I have to listen to the War and Peace of phone greetings! The employee's HATED it!

Am I overreacting? Maybe a little. I am just so tired of this push by large stores to try and seem as if they give a crap. Here's how giant stores can actually make it seem like they care (Giant store's, you may want to take notes!)

WELCOME TO MY FIRST BLOG LIST!!!!!!!

A) Treat your employee's, associate's, or whatever you are calling them these days (I worked at a place once that referred to it's employees as "Hero's". Really!?!) like human beings. Pay them fairly and do everything you can to make the time in-store as well as out-of-store happy and comfortable. They will repay you by actually not staring at the clock waiting for the drudgery of work to end so they can leave. It may also serve to stop said employee's from talking shit about your business in front of us customers, cause it happens A LOT!

B)Train them properly!!!! Rather than just showing the new guys how to push buttons and take money, teach them customer service points. How to foresee issues and solve them. Give them the ability and opportunity to actually serve the customer and not have to repeat the time testedly abhorrent phrase "I'll have to get my manager" It's a soul killer! Ownership of a situation gives employees a feeling of propriety and job satisfaction, try it!

C)Take away the fake. We all see through it and hate it.

Final thought; HEY, ice cream place that sings when I tip...STOP IT! I am actually less likely to tip if you sing at me. It makes me uncomfortable. Just say thanks.

The pitch!!!

Man, so many things to pitch for my first time, I'm very excited, hmmmm.......

Today's pitch is............. New Belgium Brewery!!!!!!!

So I really love beer. To an almost psychotic level. I have considered myself a beer snob for a while (but not the kind who busts your chops for your tastes, beer is beer and more power to ya!). I stumbled upon NBB Fat Tire first and fell fairly quickly in love with it. It's refreshing, full flavored, yet not overbearing. It's an everyday Amber that satisfies. Then on my birthday at Brixx Pizza, the manager was kind enough to sample us the most lovely black ale I have ever run across called 1554. It pretty much was over then. My love affair was signed, sealed and the wax was put over the envelope and stamped with the royal mark. Every sip was a joy. Rich dark flavors of caramel and coffee, with lightness of body that made it drinkable even in warm weather. Recently I have made it a point to enjoy any NBB styles that I can find. The Mighty Arrow is a triumph of a pale ale, with just a hint of citrus sweetness before the hoppy (but not too hoppy) finish. I am head over heals! I can even swear allegance to their Wheat beer which is not my favorite varietal. Check them out! They take their beer seriously and their website un-seriously! Maybe a few Mighty Arrows before shopping will make hearing "Welcome to your neighborhood Food Lion" just a little bit easier.