Just cause you smoke, doesn't mean you have to be an ash-hole!

The bitch

I'm originally from New York! You heard! One of the things that most impressed my wife and I about moving south was how much pride cities took on the upkeep of their roads and highways. My wife and I always find joy in showing our northern friends and relatives around and having them comment on the general appearance of things. I am especially proud of the Adopt a Highway program which we had never seen before, but was in full blown existence when we moved down 20 years ago! But inevitably when showing off the awesomeness of Charlotte, we will hear our northern buddies comment, "Wow! Look at all those cigarette butts" when we pull up to a stop at pretty much every intersection. Sad face emoticon!

Now, I've never smoked, so I can honestly say I've never tossed a butt into the middle of the road while waiting at a light. Maybe I'm missing something. Some great rush of felling that accompanies such an act, but, alas, I can only stand to the side and watch, wondering what it is like not to think my actions as singular, forgettable events with no regard for the future or impact on others. I am cursed with the knowledge that everything I do now will impact someone or something down the road and thus, I feel compelled to think before I act. DAMN THE LUCK!

To those who toss out your butts with the apparent belief that they will magically disappear, I have bad news: The only real magic out there is how David Blain is still getting television programs and the "Land of missing socks!

I would like to propose a few new highway beautification program slogans at this time. I am giving them away for free, so if you like em, use em!

Carolinas Roads: Highway's or Ashtrays

The Choice is yours!

or

Use your ashtray, dick-head!

It's that thing in your car with your change in it!

or

Tuesday's are punch a butt-chucker in the face day.

Let's all be proud Charlotteans together people. Charlotte doesn't have to be a pigsty to be a world class city.

The pitch

This just seems so fitting, I can't resist!

If you read back, you will see that I am a hot dog guy. I am also a BBQ fanatic and caterer! My pitch today is for the Cameron Stovetop Smoker! Ha, you see the way I did that?! I am pitching a smoker even as I just bitched about smokers! I am a laugh fuckin riot!!!!

Seriously, though, I have had the pleasure of using my two INDOOR stovetop smokers for the past 5 years and can say without fear of consequence that the quality of the food, the convenience of being able to do smaller batches of BBQ (even in the dead of winter) and the quality of the product itself is unreal! I am fond of the Hickory wood chips mixed with a little alder wood, but there are MANY types of wood chips available for each persons individual tastes. I hope this pitch finds some willing folks to dive into the world of home BBQ, but beware! Because BBQ is a harsh mistress and will take up way too much of your brain and thinking time! Good luck......Vic out!